I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
