Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
