Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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