I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
