He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
