rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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