is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
