I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We smell like vodka and hangover
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