Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
