I feel like abortions should bother me more
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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