the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
