Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
