There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
