9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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