you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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