Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
