try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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