Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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