She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
