Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
