okay pat passed out under dana's car
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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