he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
