if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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