she smelled like a LAN party
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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