I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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