marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
