Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
