I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
