My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
