Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
