It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
