so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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