it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
