I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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