dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
