you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
