Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
