I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
