I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
