Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
