hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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