So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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