On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize
