she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
