go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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