i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
