I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
