so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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