Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

(415): View more from California

Recession joke.

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(541): View more from Oregon

im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.

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(208): View more from Idaho

i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

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(301): View more from Maryland

please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk

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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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(586): View more from Michigan

Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!

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(850): View more from Florida

I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.

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