...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
