he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize