I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
