and you said cock pushups were impossible
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
