i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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