Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
