I feel like abortions should bother me more
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
