: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize