I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
