Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
