I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
