The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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