i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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