hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
