My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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